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About SwampButt Underwear

DON'T SWEAT IT!

Thank you for joining SwampButt Underwear™ in the fight against the grim affliction known as butt sweat, or simply “swampbutt.” SwampButt Underwear (TM) is devoted to helping sweaty backsides stay drier, longer. How? With science, but science is boring so we will not discuss it. At least not for a while.

Why Are You Here?

If you are here it is because you or someone you know has a problem and that problem is swamp butt. It is known by other names; swamp ass, swamp chair, butt sweat, making your own gravy, butt sweat angel (the impression your damp backside makes when you sit down), sweaty ass seat (similar to the angel), or sweaty ass syndrome. SwampButt Underwear was created because one of our founders sweats a lot – like as much as three fat guys on the 4th of July in the middle of a forest fire. He sweats like most people pee, and has the stained attire to prove it. And a great deal of that sweat is south of the belt line. He turned his hot, wet backside drippings into lemonade and invented SwampButt Underwear. And now we want to help you too. His condition though was generational as the story below describes. But before that, here is some science.

The original SwampButt Underwear designs were not as big as most of the American men who suffer from a sweaty backside.  These men need a garment to help them stay dry. In addition to the larger sizes, to accommodate more girth, both leg openings on all the new SwampButt Underwear made in the USA garments are larger than before. Waist sizes are also more forgiving and bigger.

The fabric in the new underwear is from ‘Sportek’, one of the leading manufacturers of sports clothes and fabric anywhere. The material contains 83% polyester and 17% Spandex. This is eight percent more Spandex than used in the original designs, so the underwear is ‘stretchier’ and more forgiving. But there were more reasons we moved production to the U.S.A.

As designers and marketers, we felt that only other Americans could fully grasp the need for a bigger pair of underwear (if only airlines were as thoughtful). The new SwampButt Performance Made in the USA garments are also made with ‘Microblok’ technology to prevent stinky drawers or from the Latin; ubi foetidum. MicroBlok inhibits the growth of bacteria on treated surfaces of products, greatly reducing stains, odors, and product deterioration.

All of this material science, chemistry, design capability and even colorful designs are realized in the new SwampButt Underwear™. We hope you enjoy them

The story of SwampButt Underwear cannot be told without the contribution of our Uncle Horatio (not our real uncle; our real uncle is really named Dana). For centuries Uncle Horatio’s family was excluded from society because of the debilitating condition of swamp butt (also known as butt sweat). Not crazy about exclusion and/or rejection, Horatio went to work in the field of material science and fashion design.

He died the way he lived, sitting in a puddle of his own making while studying ways to not leak perspiration at a rate that rivals fire hydrants.

Lucky for us, Uncle Dana, err I mean Horatio, gave the SwampButt Underwear team access to his research and designs and we are pleased to share these miraculous drawers with you and the rest of the fine people of the world. Similarly engineered SwampButt T-shirts are also available.

Don't drown in your own sweat!

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