- On June 26, 2018
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Why the Founders of the USA Were So Slow to Rise and Sign the Declaration of Independence
At the end of the writing of the Declaration of Independence, there were no volunteers who immediately went to add their names and signatures to a document. John Hancock is credited with adding his signature first and in really big writing to shame his colleagues into acting as he had done. But the collective reticence to rise and sign was not the fear of treason charges from the British Crown, but the fact that they all had Swamp Butt and were collectively stuck to their wooden chairs. The extent of the personal discomfort these men felt during the proceeding was considerable. If modern comforts like SwampButt Underwear performance brand (www.swampbutt) were present in Philadelphia, PA on July 4, 1776 there is every reason to believe the signing of the document would have been done sooner and likely the entire convention would have proceeded more efficiently.
Twice As Ignorant
According to a man who had to take high school American history two times and should know twice as much, SwampButt Underwear’s Nick Heraldson, the USA would be way better if the founders had access to SwampButt Underwear performance brand. “There is little doubt that had the founders of the USA had access to the sweat wicking comfort of SwampButt Underwear™ the country would be way better.” When pressed for details Heraldson said, “they (the founding fathers) would have not been stuck to their chairs, all been more comfortable, smelled better, and realized more comradery than rancor. How could we not possibly all benefit?”
How Hot Was It?
By standards today or anytime, it was really uncomfortable to be in Philadelphia, PA working on the declaration of independence in July, 1776. At that time, men wore heavy suits regardless of the weather or time of year, and many wore wigs. There was no air conditioning, refrigeration, or even a ceiling fan. Soap was made at home, if at all, and they were always out of hot water.
Annals of Hygiene
Underwear for the founders on the very first Independence Day was likely made from wool with cotton binding and tailored to fit under knee pants. Showers or baths were not a daily habit in those days. According to the ‘Annals of Hygiene, Volume 10’ (yes there us such a journal) towels and laundry were washed in boiling water, scrubbed by hand, ironed and worn or used. “You have to imagine that the combination of heat, poor air circulation, heavy clothes and questionable hygiene would have made for quite a ‘stank’,” Heraldson assessed. “Had the comfort, fit, and sweat wicking of SwampButt Underwear been available, the founders would have been more comfortable, able to work more efficiently, and probably have been done with their work by the 2ndor 3rd. Of course we’d have to change all the calendars, but it would be a small price to pay.”
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