Not Fake News: Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say

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The National Weather Service (a real U.S. government agency) says it's going to be really hot this summer. No government agency ever lies!
The National Weather Service (a real U.S. government agency) says it’s going to be really hot this summer. No government agency ever lies! Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say.

Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say. You may or may not believe the information presented about global warming or as it is now referred to as climate change. We don’t care. Because at SwampButt Underwear, we want our customers, prospective customers and casual readers to be prepared for any and all hot, sweaty or swamp butt related emergencies. This is one such warning that gives the public ample time to prepare, and isn’t that nice for a change? Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say
Inconvenient Last Minute Emergencies
Different than hurricanes that linger offshore for days, not deciding which way to go or tornadoes that pop up out of nowhere and even thermonuclear attacks that only allow 19 minutes notice. It’s too late to look for the umbrella when any of those are bearing down. Do not wait. Stock up now with plenty of SwampButt Underwear while supplies last. People who wait until the last minute will face shortages, price gouging, and even looting when only cotton or flannel undergarments are available. Oh, the humanity.
Shortages of SwampButt Underwear could lead to scenes like this one is what we would tell you if our garments were available in stores. They are not.
Shortages of SwampButt Underwear could lead to scenes like this one is what we would tell you if our garments were available in stores. They are not. Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say.

WASHINGTON — U.S. forecasters are predicting another warmer than normal summer for most of the country along with wetter weather in a swath of states stretching from Texas to Montana.
The hot weather forecast came amid what’s already shaping up to be another unusually hot year. The National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) said last month was the second warmest April on record globally — just a fraction of a degree behind the hottest in 2016. And so far 2017 is the second warmest year-to-date on record.

The National Weather Service’s summer outlook issued Thursday predicts greater chances for hot weather in states that fall along the East Coast, Texas, Alaska and pretty much everywhere else.
The exceptions are Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas and parts of Missouri and Colorado.
But forecaster Stephen Baxter says it may not be as hot as recent summers because rain-soaked soil from a wet spring may keep the heat down.
Baxter forecasts a wetter than normal summer for Alaska and parts of the already soggy Great Plains.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-forecasters-another-hot-summer/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab7e&linkId=37809244
Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say
Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say
Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say
Not Fake News:  Brace yourselves for another hot summer, forecasters say