In Washington Purple and White
College football is awesome and way more fun when you are cool and comfortable.
The makers of SwampButt Underwear™ believe that weather conditions are directly linked to comfort and a positive or negative sports spectating experience. The calendar says September. But ask college football fans around the country if there is any correlation between the calendar and the thermometer and the answer will likely be an emphatic ‘no’. Worse than just heat is the addition of humidity that compounds discomfort, and leads to outbreaks of sweaty backside or as it is more commonly known, swamp butt. But the discomfort does not end there. SwampButt Underwear Made in the USA undergarments are made from a blend of lycra and polyester fibers to fit snuggly, there will never be any droop associated with our garments.
Math & Science & Misery
Add to this your/the team’s performance on the playing field (good or bad) and the millions who attend college football games can go from warm to sweaty to both and add then really angry. It is this calculus that is the “SwampButt Underwear™ College Football Misery Index”. SwampButt Underwear takes the average dew point by location and adds it with the teams playing for a predicted misery indices. Assigned on a scale of 1 (great conditions and a reason to think your team will win) to 10 (the stank from the sweaty fans is exceeded only by the team and their performance).
People will actually feel better if their team wins regardless of the temperature and humidity. “There is a lot of math involved in this, so I have limited interest,” said company president and guy who counts on his fingers, Harold Nicoll. “But it’s a novel way to communicate that we make and market a product that helps solve a problem; sweat wicking underwear that will absolutely reduce the amount of visible sweat on any backside.”
How the undergarment works and what it is made of are related. First, there is the phenomena of ‘wicking’ which is the way moisture travels across a larger area of fabric. The more and further moisture (in this case sweat) can disperse across a surface, the faster it can evaporate. Imagine a squeegee pulling water across a windshield. When spread to a larger surface are, the water on the windshield evaporates faster. Or push rain water across a drive way or parking lot into a larger surface area and it also evaporates faster.
The same thing happens with our garment. Sweat wicks across a larger area and evaporates faster because of this. The rate of wicking is related to the materials and the way sweat spreads across them. Polyester fibers are hydrophobic because they are really plastic and will not absorb moisture. Our performance undergarments are made from lycra and polyester fibers. The brief style from cotton and lycra.