- On July 8, 2019
Football lifer joins the SwampButt Underwear team making it the only underwear company covering the gridiron and sweaty backsides…
Stumpy Lester Joins SwampButt Underwear as Football Insider, Hanger On
July 8, 2019 – Long-time football coach, player and scout Archibald “Stumpy” Lester will join SwampButt Underwear™ as its Football Insider. Lester will give his unique takes on the college football landscape, the exciting teams, interesting places and memories of his life in football. SwampButt Underwear (www.swampbutt.com) is a real company with a product that helps manage a real problem in a straightforward way.
“Football has been in my blood for more than 40 years and I’m excited to share the memories I can remember with so many people,” said Stumpy. “I’ve been a part of at least 50 teams in more than 40 states and maybe a few countries, and it has been a blast despite what my ex-wives keep telling people. I’ll use my life experiences to bring people inside the huddle, inside the locker room and if we have time inside that jail cell on the Texas coast.”
Stumpy’s insights will be shared regularly via SwampButt Underwear’s accounts on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter as well as SwampButt Underwear news releases, SwampButt.com and the bars and beer joints he’s known to frequent.
“I wouldn’t lend him any money, but we’re excited to have Stumpy on the SwampButt Underwear team,” said SwampButt Underwear spokesman Nick Heraldson. “Stumpy has as many stories as the day is long and a few involve football in some capacity. I could listen to his tales all day, which is what he wants because that means I’m picking up the tab. As the No. 1 underwear company covering football today, Stumpy’s knowledge and passion will only increase our lead in that particular market segment, which I’m told is a thing.”
Stumpy Lester’s Top 130
Stumpy’s insights and analysis will start immediately with the unveiling of his countdown of the Top 130 college football teams across SwampButt Underwear’s many platforms.
“I’ve seen many of these teams run at least a few plays over the last decade, so I think I got the gist of what makes them go and how good or bad they are” said Stumpy. “We’ve already had many spirited debates in the office about the Top 130 list, which was mainly me learning that so few teams run the veer offense nowadays. I stand by my rankings, but that was a real eye opener.”
Heraldson said the ‘Stumpy’s Top 130’ is a collection of unique story angles, which fans won’t get from other football insiders. “There are a lot of excellent football people out there who are great at what they do and probably know the names of the starting quarterbacks for most teams,” said Heraldson. “But they can’t give you stories about almost dying in the Texas heat while spying on a rival team, going to magical carnivals or coaching with a serial killer. Stumpy has led an interesting life and combined with his football knowledge makes for a fantastic Top 130. I still think he has Tennessee too low and I shouldn’t have sucker punched him for it. But that’s something for us to work out, so please give us time.”
Games Without Frontiers
Stumpy will also be providing analysis on key games throughout the season.
“I’m banned from a number of hotel chains, which makes it hard to travel,” said Stumpy. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t cover the sport I love. My lawyers have confirmed it. I’m excited to tell the world what I think about stuff and hopefully some of that involves football. But who knows? I’m just along for the ride at this point.”
And SwampButt Underwear is thrilled to be on that ride as well. “Everyone knows that SwampButt Underwear is great at helping people with sweaty backsides and now we’re the only underwear company covering football,” said Heraldson. “That’s a great combination. And we’re excited to have Stumpy on the team for as long he is employable.”
About SwampButt Underwear
SwampButt Underwear is a real company that makes a product to help solve a problem; visible sweat on a man’s posterior. SwampButt Underwear™ is trademarked in the USA and foreign countries. We paid a lot for it so please do not use it without written permission.