- On September 20, 2017
The SwampButt Underwear College Football Misery Index; Week 4.
The makers of SwampButt Underwear™ (www.swampbutt.com) believe that weather conditions are directly linked to comfort and a positive or negative sports spectating experience. The calendar says September and the first day of fall is Friday September 22, 2017. But ask college football fans around the country if there is any correlation between the calendar and the thermometer and the answer will likely be an emphatic ‘no’. Worse than just heat is the addition of humidity that compounds discomfort, and leads to outbreaks of sweaty backside or as it is more commonly known, swamp butt. But the discomfort does not end there.
Math & Science & Misery
Add to this your/the team’s performance on the playing field (good or bad) and the millions who attend college football games can go from warm to sweaty to both and add then really angry. It is this calculus that is the “SwampButt Underwear™ College Football Misery Index”. SwampButt Underwear takes the average dew point by location and adds it with the teams playing for a predicted misery indices. Aassigned on a scale of 1 (great conditions and a reason to think your team will win) to 10 (the stank from the sweaty fans is exceeded only by the team and their performance).
People will actually feel better if their team wins regardless of the temperature and humidity. “There is a lot of math involved in this, so I have limited interest,” said company president and guy who counts on his fingers, Harold Nicoll. “But it’s a novel way to communicate that we make and market a product that helps solve a problem; sweat wicking underwear that will absolutely reduce the amount of visible sweat on any backside.”
This Week’s Top Picks
Visitor Home Average Dew Point Temp. Most Miserable Team
N.C. State @ Florida State 82 Wolf Packed 8/10
Alabama @ Vanderbilt 78 Commodes 10/10
TCU @ Oklahoma State 70 Corn Dogs 6/10
Oklahoma @ Baylor 64 Poor Baylor 11/10
Syracuse @ LSU 88 Orange Crushed 10/10
Mississippi State @ Georgia 74 Toothless Pups 9/10
Auburn @ Missouri 55 Tigger 7/10
Oregon @Arizona State 10 Dark Sweaty Lords 9/10
Temple @ USF 84 Hooties 10/10
Toledo @ Miami FL. 92 Mud Hens 10/10
Army @Tulane 70 Too Lame 9/10
Texas A&M @ Arkansas 75 Aggies 10/10
Texas Tech @ Houston 60 Red Faders 8/10
What Is Dew Point and Why Should I Care?
The dew-point temperature is the temperature at which air must be cooled for it to become saturated or achieve 100-percent humidity. At that point, the air can no longer hold its water vapor, some of which condenses into water, ice or snow or clouds. Dew point is simply the temperature when dew forms, hence the name.
When it comes to what makes people watching college football most uncomfortable, the dew-point temperature is an excellent indicator. When the dew point climbs to more than 70 degrees, the air becomes thick and sticky.swampbutt underwear college football misery index hot humid losers
Heat Humidity and the Human Brain
When the dew-point temperature increases, the hypothalamus gland in the human brain tries to regulate body temperature by setting off sweat glands. Sweating is an essential function that helps the body stay cool. On a hot day, it is possible to lose more than seven quarts of water in the form of sweat evaporating off skin. “On an even kind of warm day, I can wring that much out of my shorts with ease,” Nicoll said.
Evaporation is a process of water converting to gas with cooling a side effect. Just go outside on a windy day with wet clothes on to test this. When water vapor changes phases to a liquid, it’s called condensation, and that’s a warming process. When the air can’t hold any additional water vapor it’s saturated. Consequently, when the dew point is high, less perspiration on your skin can evaporate, and our bodies just can’t cool as efficiently, which is why people and their butts are all wet. Yuck. swampbutt underwear college football misery index hot humid losers
Please visit our store here: https://swampbutt.com/?v=7516fd43adaa. Information about these dew point numbers came from Wunderground’s Dew Point map (https://www.wunderground.com/maps/us/Dewpoint.html). SwampButt Underwear™ is a real company that helps solve a real problem. SwampButt Underwear is trademarked and protected by laws of the U.S. and the state of Texas. We paid a lot for it so please do not use it without our permission. sswampbutt underwear college football misery index hot humid losersswampbutt underwear college football misery index hot humid losers