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SwampButt Underwear offers both green and lime green pairs of its Made In The USA brand underwear. It took almost two years for the makers of SwampButt Underwear to realize this and launch what they are calling, ‘The New Green Deal.’ Shoppers and sweaty men can purchase a pair of each (that’s two) for one price. The price is much lower than if purchased separately. “To buy these separately costs $49.98, but the New Green Deal is $34.99,” said SwampButt Underwear corporate spokesperson and resident math whiz Nick Heraldson. “Of course someone could still buy them separately, if they were stupid.”
It’s Really Easy Being Green
The New Green Deal is perfect for sweaty men who wear underwear or those who wish they would. Some of those include golfers, gardeners, yogurt sucking tree huggers, currency collectors, St. Patrick’s Day celebrants, margarita enthusiasts, people whose favorite color is green or slightly greener, those who went to Baylor, Tulane, Michigan State, Marshal, or some other school whose colors include green.
Hottest Summer Lately
While summer is not nearly over casual observers, shade tree meteorologists and opinionated bigmouths are already saying this is the hottest summer ever. It is true that parts of Texas and the Deep South have had their hottest start to summer. With August expected to start after July, 2022 could be a record-setter for some. Could be. “We are accustomed to the heat of Texas in July, and the last week of July is typically the hottest,” said corporate spokesman and man who grasps the obvious, Nick Heraldson.
Recent heat turned heads even in the typically searing South. Daytime highs pushed into the 110s in parts of Texas and Oklahoma this week. Houston recorded temperature over 100 degrees 14 times through July 17, 2022. Only 1980 had more than this for the entire year.
The current heat wave can be connected to several weather conditions — one being the current positioning of jet streams, or bands of strong winds in the upper atmosphere responsible for weather changes.
“What we’ve got going on this year is this big area of high pressure through the atmosphere centered over the south-central part of the United States,” AccuWeather chief meteorologist Jonathan Porter said. “Maybe it expands to the west at times, expands to the east at times, but it’s sort of centered right over the south-central part of the country.”
When it’s hot like this and you suffer a sweaty backside, remember to wear SwampButt Underwear.
These garments are manufactured to our specifications and are unique in the world of underpants or in parts of the world where underpants are worn. SwampButt Underwear is based near Houston, Texas. It’s in a great town, but you’ve probably never heard of it. It’s surrounded by swampland with the Gulf of Mexico just south, with some really nice people.
We’ve got a Starbucks and some nice Tex-Mex restaurants. And a place that has 99 beers on tap. SwampButt Underwear is specifically formulated to help fight against the grim affliction known as butt sweat, or simply SwampButt. SwampButt Underwear is trademarked in the United States and foreign countries. We paid a lot for the trademark, so please do not use it without written permission.
References for this include: https://www.dallasnews.com/news/weather/2022/07/18/how-does-this-years-heat-relate-to-climate-change-its-complicated-experts-say/.
https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2022/07/21/dangerously-high-temperatures-to-endure-through-weekend/
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