The New Green Deal
So named because SwampButt Underwear comes in two shades of green.
Plain green and lime green.
That inspired the makers to launch what they are calling, ‘The New Green Deal.’ Shoppers and sweaty people can purchase a pair of each (that’s two) for one price. The price is much lower than if purchased separately. “To buy these separately costs $49.98, but the New Green Deal is $34.99,” said SwampButt Underwear corporate spokesperson and resident math whiz Nick Heraldson. “Of course someone could still buy them separately, if they were stupid.”
It’s Really Easy Being Green
The New Green Deal is perfect for sweaty men who wear underwear or those who wish they would. Some of those include golfers, gardeners, yogurt sucking tree huggers, currency collectors, St. Patrick’s Day celebrants, margarita enthusiasts, people whose favorite color is green or slightly greener, those who went to Baylor, Tulane, Michigan State, Marshal, or some other school whose colors include green.
The wrong underwear will ruin even the best round. “Who wants to drag around sweat soaked pants that add a couple of pounds and make you feel like you have a diaper on,” Heraldson queried. “No normal person, that’s who.” Other golfers would rather walk 18 than ride in the cart with with someone whose backside looks like they sat in something. “The position of the wetness on the golfer (their butt) will call a lot about them into question about them with other golfers,” Heraldson said. “Some of those questions are bond to be about their sobriety, lack of personal hygiene, and whose friend was this guy anyway and/or who invited captain soggy britches.”
More Strokes And Chafes
A wetter than wet butt is the ultimate self-inflicted wound, at least on the golf course. Worse than leaving your putter on the practice green or hitting into the foursome in front of you. Self-inflicted because your butt does not have to be like this.
But besides being just plain icky and repulsive, SwampButt can lead to other problems. For example, if sweat occurs in your butt-crack and you sit in that sweat for too long, bacteria and germs will accumulate.That can lead to maceration—a breakdown of the skin that can lead to chronic itching and secondary infection, according to a leading scientician who refused to leave his name. But there is more, chafing south of the border. “Maceration is not any fun,” Heraldson conceded
Swamp Chafe for Everyone
Non golfers can also have issues with butt sweat if it is not managed properly. Named this ‘swamp-chafe’ because of the place on an individual’s body it occurs (the human butt) and the hot weather that is part of the summer activity equation. Wet, heavy fabric bunches up down below and rubs sensitive skin raw or just off. “It ‘taint funny,” said Heraldson. “It is painful and a difficult spot on which to apply medication.” As far as getting any help with the application of topical pain relievers and/or germ killers, Heraldson described that as a really hard ask. “Even my wife won’t agree to help apply ointment down there and she’s a straight up freak.”
About SwampButt Underwear
SwampButt Underwear is perfect for the guy who sweats a lot south of the belt line, or who wants to be comfortable, or both. Made with polyester and spandex, this high-performance underwear draws sweat away from the skin for fast evaporation. It is not a cure, but it will go a long way toward alleviating some of the worst cases.
To see everything SwampButt Underwear offers, please visit the SwampButt virtual store.
Learn more about stroke saving and Swampbutt from American Golfer.