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Is Corn Sweat a Reason for Visible Butt Sweat

Is Corn Sweat a Reason for Visible Butt Sweat

Short answer, yes. Corn sweat will lead to increased visible butt sweating for those in corn country. People who live in corn country suffer more from any heat related ailment including visible butt sweat. But where is ‘corn country?’ And what type of suffering is there?

Where the Corn Is

Most of America’s corn comes from the midwest. Iowa and Illinois are the top two corn-producing states, followed by Nebraska, Minnesota, and Indiana. “People in Indiana, Nebraska and Iowa suffer from sheer boredom,” stated ‘agritician’, ‘cornologist’ and SwampButt Underwear spokesman Nick Heraldson. “Minnesota and Illinois have big cities where the boredom of corn farming is broken by the occasional ‘peaceful’ demonstration, evacuation and/or foot chase. Otherwise, it’s a real snooze fest.”

The More You Know About Corn

These five states collectively account for over half of the nation’s corn production. It is late summer so of course with corn and summer comes ‘corn sweat.’ Climate experts describe corn sweat as a period when corn plants release a lot of water into the atmosphere — which can impact local weather by increasing the amount of moisture and humidity. But how much corn will cause corn sweat? “A lot of corn,” Heraldson answered. When asked to be more specific he replied, “a whole lot of corn.”

A Whole Lot of Corn

So that is a whole lot of corn. “This is what happens when you live near a lot of corn,” Heraldson observed. His suggested remedy for ‘corn sweat,?’ “Move far away from corn,” he advised. For those who are not moving the thing to know is that corn sweat is just evaporation exacerbated by corn plants drawing moisture up the stalk from the ground. Simple. But…
It’s Not the Heat
Humidity makes the air feel hotter as measured by the ‘heat index.’ The heat index combines the air temperature (as measured by a thermometer) with the relative humidity to determine a “feels like” temperature.
The human body cools itself by sweating. When the air is humid, sweat evaporates more slowly, making it harder for the body to cool down, and thus, making the temperature feel hotter. “It (evaporation) is the same principal behind how SwampButt Underwear works,”Heraldson said. “Moisture is absorbed across a much larger, plastic surface area where it can evaporate more quickly than with traditional cotton men’s underwear.”
A high heat index will lead to corn sweat in places where corn is grown
A high heat index will lead to corn sweat in places where corn is grown.
Evaporation Station
The higher the humidity, the less evaporation occurs because of the existing amount of moisture already present. That is the reason it feels hotter on days with high humidity. “Essentially, there is nowhere for that added moisture to go so it stays and collects as sweat, and corn sweat makes it worse, Heraldson concluded.  
Seven Ways to Beat the High Heat Index
– Remain indoors where air-conditioning is present. If you are in a room without air conditioning move to a room where air conditioning is.
– For those who may not have air conditioning Heraldson suggests riding out the heat wave inside a shopping mall or public library. “They can’t get rid of all the homeless people, so they can’t eject you either.”
– Halt all movement. Moving takes energy. Energy requires calories to burn. So just sit still.
– Freeze a wet washcloth. A frozen washcloth is something anyone can wrap around their neck and keep cooler. “Yes, the washcloth will thaw and then leak water,” Heraldson advised. “So do not do this while sitting on anything that will absorb water, during business meetings or in a court room.”
– Freeze a bottle of water. “A long distance runner friend of mine puts a frozen bottle of water in her sports bra during long runs in summer,” Heraldson reported. “If you are not someone who wears a sports bra, tough luck.”
– Avoid heavy meals, especially fat people. Feeling warmer after a heavy meal is a common experience, because of the body’s normal digestion. When you eat, your body works to break down the food, which requires energy and generates heat. This process is known as the thermic effect of food or diet-induced thermogenesis. Larger meals, especially those high in protein, can cause a more noticeable increase in body temperature due to the increased energy demand for digestion, according to a health blog. 
– Do not be fat. Fat is thought to be insulating and accounts for why fat people sweat so much in normal temperatures, never mind when its hot. “So order a salad my chunky brother and feel better,” Heraldson reassured.
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