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Introduction: While the specific circumstances and technologies have drastically changed, the stresses experienced by the Pilgrims during their journey across the Atlantic and those faced by modern travelers, remain tied together by shared human experiences of physical discomfort, emotional anxiety, and the necessity to adapt to new situations. Recognizing these parallels can provide perspective on the timeless challenges of travel, highlighting the resilience that characterizes human journeys throughout history. And if Pilgrims had the drying, wicking and fast drying benefits of SwampButt Underwear, more may have overcome the ‘consumption’ allowing them to feel better and be more generous with their new neighbors.
Space: Limited on Airlines, More for Pilgrims
Who had more room on their journey? The passengers aboard the Mayflower or Americans on passenger airliners? It was the former. No Pilgrim had to crawl over two other Pilgrims to move around, the way Thanksgiving flyers are this weekend as conditions are cramped, wet and hot or cold. “The amount of discomfort depends on the gate position of any given flight, and the type and size of plane” said motorist and SwampButt Underwear spokesman Nick Heraldson. When told the question was about the Pilgrims and not modern travelers Heraldson replied, “it probably sucked for them too, but at least they could stretch out to sleep or take a whiz over the side without starting a hassle.”
The Pilgrims Journey (1620)
The Pilgrims, a group of English Puritans seeking religious freedom, set sail from Plymouth, England, aboard the poorly named ‘Mayflower’ as there was nothing bright, warm or spring-like about it. Their journey across the Atlantic Ocean was fraught with challenges and bad smells. The ship was overcrowded, and the journey took over two months, during which the Pilgrims faced severe weather, rough seas, and limited supplies.
Navigation was a challenge; they primarily relied on compass and stars, often facing disorientation. Wayfinding was also crippled because their maps were accidently left behind at an establishment called ‘The Amsterdam Fun Factory and Brew Haus.’ 
They All Had Cramps
The cramped conditions led to illness as many passengers suffered from seasickness or scurvy and communicable diseases like tuberculosis, influenza, and croop-1619. Upon their arrival in what is now Massachusetts, the Pilgrims faced the challenge of an unfamiliar land. They had to adapt to a new environment, which included harsh winters, the need to establish shelter, and the struggle to cultivate crops. The first winter in 1620-1621 proved devastating, with many succumbing to starvation and disease. On the upside, there were no parades or Black Friday sales.
The 2024 Journey
Americans love Thanksgiving and claim to enjoy visiting family during the 4-day holiday weekend. All passengers boarding such luxurious passenger jets like Spirit or Southwest may or may not be on a spiritual quest. But like the Pilgrims, seats onboard planes do not come close to accommodating the modern buttocks. Later day travelers can also experience unfamiliar geography upon arrival. “Ever been lost in a rent-a-car lot,” Heraldson asked. “I have, and locating the car was just the first puzzle-maze to solve. And try getting directions from an employee! I mean, don’t get me started.”
Scurvy or Pinkeye?
It is unlikely that today’s Thanksgiving traveler will experience ‘scurvy’ the way the Pilgrims did. But sharing air with dozens of strangers onboard what amounts to a flying toilet, does not promote public health. “Once was we could take a ‘redeye’ flight overnight,” Heraldson mused. “Now we are all flying on the ‘pinkeye’ regardless of the time of day.”
Not Quite the Conclusion
In the 21st century, Thanksgiving travel evolved into one of the busiest travel periods in the United States. The combination of holiday traffic, inclement weather, and overbooked flights creates a perfect storm of challenges for travelers. Airports across the country brace for overwhelming passenger volumes, often resulting in flight delays and cancellations.
Almost Done
Technological advancements, such as digital boarding passes and intricate flight tracking apps, have attempted to ease some of the burdens of air travel. However, the airport experience remains frustratingly complex. Issues like security screenings, baggage handling, and increased scrutiny following post-9/11 measures contribute to a stressful travel environment, particularly during high-traffic seasons like Thanksgiving.
“Maybe they don’t report their successes but I am not aware of any violent or terrorist act being prevented by the TSA,” Heraldson stated. “I’m not meaning to judge anyone but the agents I encounter couldn’t stop a runny nose. Not the short overweight guy with his pants zipper busted out, or those who are perhaps a bit more senior; like Methuselah sanding at the x-ray machine,” Heraldson predicted. When informed that many TSA agents were retired military officers, Heraldson said, “thank you for your service to our nation… during World War I.”
“And give chase? To whom? A herd of turtles? A tree sloth? Bah, humbug.”
Ah, the Conclusion
To learn more about the Pilgrims please visit the National Archives.
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