SwampButt Underwear Predicting Sweat, Comfort and College Football Game Outcomes…
UPDATE: For Week 8 the Scale of Sultry was 4 wins and 4 losses. For the season, the Scale of Sultry has picked 21 winners and 11 losses. The SwampButt Underwear ‘Scale of Sultry’ Predictions for Week 8 of College Football. A Clever Promotional Tool for the Country’s Most Uniquely Named Men’s Underwear Company.
Lake Jackson, TX (October 17, 2025) At first glance what does SwampButt Underwear, a men’s underwear company, college football, how hot and humid those colleges’ location makes them might not seem to have much, if anything, in common. But they do and all come together in the ‘SwampButt Scale of Sultry’ or SOS weekly report.
The ’Scale of Sultry’ was originally designed to inform local fans about what to expect at their respective stadiums on college football game day in terms of heat and humidity. SwampButt Underwear is made to help solve the problem of visible butt sweat on men. People who go to college football games in the fall, will still experience ‘swamp butt’ regardless of what the calendar says. “October is the 5th month of summer,” according to SwampButt Underwear corporate spokesman and guy who will not let anyone finish a sentence, Nick Heraldson. The scale has since evolved from giving comfort levels to fans, to a way to also predict the outcome of some college football games. Through the 7th week of college football season the SOS successfully picked 17 winners and 7 losses. Weather conditions and the opinion that teams located in hotter and more humid locales will produce better conditioned players are all that drive the SOS.Friday October 17, 2025
Louisville at Miami
Times of clouds and sun with a shower in spots
RealFeel®90°
RealFeel Shade™85°
Max UV Index3.0 (Moderate)
Wind NE 12
Scale of Sultry Rating 7
It’s a night game so the UV rating will not mean much. But the leftover heat from the sunny day along with the humidity will make Hard Rock Stadium downright boggy. Cardinals do best in cooler weather while Hurricanes are the spawn of heat and ocean born humidity.
Advantage Miami Loss
Saturday October 18, 2025
No. 20 USC at No. 13 Notre Dame
It never rains in Southern California, but it will Saturday night when the Trojans visit South Bend for a significant rivalry match up. Temperatures at game time are predicted to be in the mid-50’s with plenty of rain in the forecast. “Rain will always make the ball slipperier than when it is not raining,” just one of many insightful remarks from SwampButt Underwear’s corporate spokesman Nick Heraldson. The rain will have a bigger impact on USC, which passes more than the Irish. Lightening could potentially lead to long and pointless delays, as there must be 30 minutes without a strike within 8-10 miles of the stadium. If there is another strike in that range during the 30-minute delay, the clock starts over at another 30 minutes. “Getting hit by lightning is like winning the lottery,” Heraldson said. “It will never happen to you.” Warmer weather year ‘round will make the Trojans the team to beat on Saturday night as their superior conditioning will overcome even the slipperiest, slickest balls the Irish have to offer.
Scale of Sultry Rating 5
Sat10/18 71° /56° 88%
Some sun, then turning cloudy with a couple of showers and a thunderstorm; breezy and warm; a rain jacket may be needed for the football game
RealFeel® 69°
RealFeel Shade™ 69°
Max UV Index 2.0 (Low)
Wind SSW 14 mph
Advantage USC Loss
LSU at Vanderbilt
The ‘Swamp Tigers’ from Louisiana will have much thinner blood than the blue bloods of Vanderbilt when this game kicks off at noon eastern time.
Scale of Sultry Rating 7
Turning cloudy and very warm
RealFeel®86°
RealFeel Shade™84°
Max UV Index4.0 (Moderate)
Wind SSW 10 mph
Advantage LSU Loss
Arizona at Houston
People in Arizona will say about the heat, ‘it’s a dry heat’ meaning that sweat will evaporate faster and cool humans better than in the stifling, misery of Houston’s heat and humidity. Houston will experience a ‘cold front’ early Saturday morning. That front will drop October temperatures from the mid-90’s to a brisk 89 degrees. While no one in Houston will need a sweater or even long pants, they will declare it ‘fall.’
Scale of Sultry Rating 8
Warm and humid with a blend of sun and clouds; a thunderstorm in spots in the afternoon
RealFeel®95°
RealFeel Shade™92°
Max UV Index4.0 (Moderate)
WindSSE 8 mph
Advantage Houston Win
Oklahoma at South Carolina
While the weather in Oklahoma is in no way worthy of praise when it comes to the heat, it does not hold a soggy candle to South Carolina. “Mold is the state flower of South Carolina,” Heraldson declared. It isn’t, but it could be.
Scale of Sultry Rating 6
Plenty of sunshine
RealFeel®82°
RealFeel Shade™78°
Max UV Index4.0 (Moderate)
WindSSW 6 mph
Advantage South Carolina. Loss
West Virginia at UCF
Conditions in West Virginia are damp but cooler than Orlando, to say the least. “Cool damp air prepares West Virginians for life inside a coal mine,” said Heraldson. “They will have issues on Saturday with the sauna like conditions of Florida. That along with getting used to sunlight, whole lotta squinting in their futures.”
Scale of Sultry Rating 6
Sunny to partly cloudy and pleasant
RealFeel®84°
RealFeel Shade™79°
Max UV Index5.0 (Moderate)
WindENE 8 mph
Advantage UCF Win
Ole Miss at Georgia
Distance from either school to the equator is about the same, or close enough for this rating. Mississippi and Georgia both have heat, humidity, and discomfort for everyone who visits, lives there or competes in college football. With that comes the crisp and biting temperature of 80 degrees on Saturday (sarcasm). Game attendees may well have sweatshirts, hoodies and that letter jacket from high school that reminds you of past accomplishment and signals everyone else that you are such a loser (not sarcasm). “In terms of the ‘SOS’ this game could be a push,” Heraldson said. “A push means even, like a tie. Not a Christmas tie.”
Scale of Sultry Rating 5
Plenty of sunshine
RealFeel®82°
RealFeel Shade™78°
Max UV Index4.0 (Moderate)
WindS 6 mph
Advantage Georgia Win
Texas at Kentucky
This game is in the evening which will negate the midday weather conditions but will not affect the better conditioned team from Austin, where it is hot and humid. “Austin is humid but not as humid as Houston,” Heraldson said. “But too much urban and suburban growth in and around Austin led to more lawns, parks, green spaces, golf courses with all being watered to excess. It all equates to more evaporation and humidity.” He went on, “Kentucky on the other hand has mountains, cool breezes, moonshine and cousins married to other cousins.”
Scale of Sultry Rating 4
Warm with the temperature approaching the record of 87 set in 1938 with times of sun and clouds.
RealFeel®84°
RealFeel Shade™81°
Max UV Index4.0 (Moderate)
WindSSW 10 mph
Advantage Texas Win
Background: What Is The Scale of Sultry and Why Should I Care?
The ‘Scale of Sultry’ is a numeric scale of 1 (not hot/humid or sultry at all) to 10 (unbearably hot and stifling like Singapore, Saigon, or Clute) that takes game time temperature, humidity, wind direction, wind speed, cloud cover, and precipitation and assigns a single number. The game outcome prediction idea evolved from the premise that schools in places where the weather is hottest and most humid produce athletes who are better conditioned than those from more moderate climates. Through Week 7, the SOS picked 17 winners and 7 losers. There are no other factors considered when making these predictions and it does not pick against the spread, just winners and losers.
About SwampButt Underwear
SwampButt Underwear is a real company that makes and sells underwear for men who suffer from visible butt sweat commonly known as ‘swamp butt.’. (And we really like college football). Founded in the sweltering heart of Texas, SwampButt Underwear designs performance undergarments for men who sweat — a lot. All SwampButt Underwear is made in Texas. With a brand voice as bold as its fabric technology, SwampButt Underwear helps its customers fight embarrassing perspiration with comfort, honesty, and a little humor. SwampButt Underwear™ is trademarked in the United States and foreign countries. It was really expensive so please do not use it without permission.