Sweating Out Week One of College Football at some of the most uncomfortable stadiums…

Heat, Humidity and Misery to Mark the Sultry Start of College Football

(Lake Jackson, TX. August 30, 2024) Those attending college football games and interested in maintaining a level of personal comfort during the game, will want to consider the balmy, rainforest like conditions at several of week one’s games. This according to the makers of SwampButt Underwear. While the semester of football is called ‘fall’ at the nation’s institutions of higher learning, the calendar shows it is still summer. To leave no doubt of the calendar’s correctness, examine the following sample of contests for Saturday, August 31, 2024.

AccuWeather is Accurate

According to AccuWeather, conditions in the south, southwest and even Texas will be hot and humid. “It does not exactly take the gift of prophesy to make this forecast,” according to prognosticator and SwampButt Underwear sports ‘expert’ Nick Heraldson. “The sun will also rise in the east Saturday. Thanks Nostradamus.”

College Football’s Most Moist Games Week One

At the top of the misery pile are two games in Tennessee that should both be over by halftime and have fans finished well before the end of quarter four. “The people in Tennessee who actually went to Tennessee and the t-shirt fans are distinguishable this way,” Heraldson instructed. “The fans who are passed out drunk by the third quarter is one group. And those who lost consciousness before halftime, are shirtless, and working on a third-degree sunburn are the other,” Heraldson predicted. When asked which was which his response was “you will know when you see them.”

–       Tennessee vs. Chattanooga, Neyland Stadium Tenessee. 11:45 am. Temperature 91 degrees. 99°

RealFeel Shade™ 94°. Warm and humid with times of sun and clouds; a heavy thunderstorm in the afternoon; a hot afternoon for football; stay hydrated.

–       Vanderbilt vs. Virginia Tech, First Bank Stadium Nashville, TN. 11:00 am. Temperature 90 degrees. RealFeel® 99° RealFeel Shade™ 93°Humid with times of sun and clouds; a heavy thunderstorm in the afternoon. RealFeel™ is the effect of the temperature and humidity according to AccuWeather.

–       Texas vs Colorado State, Darrell K Royal Stadium Austin, TX. Temperature 94 degrees during game time. RealFeel® 102°. RealFeel Shade™ 98°. Humid with times of sun and clouds; an afternoon thunderstorm in spots; a hot afternoon for football; stay hydrated. –      

– Houston vs. UNLV, John O’Quin Field Houston, TX. Even though kickoff is not until 6:30 pm temperatures will remain in the 90’s, until the rain starts. Temperature 90 degrees. RealFeel® 99° RealFeel Shade™ 96°. Humid with more clouds than sun; a thunderstorm in the afternoon. “Houston fans will retreat to the covered concession areas behind the stands, and will make the stadium look empty,” Heraldson observed. “But Houston struggles with attendance on a good day and playing UNLV while the Astros are playing in air-conditioned comfort a couple of miles away, well, guess where fans will go?”

–       Texas A&M vs. Notre Dame at Kyle Field in College Station, TX. Temperature at game time 92 degrees. RealFeel® 100° RealFeel Shade™ 97°. Humid with intervals of clouds and sunshine; a thunderstorm in one or two spots in the afternoon. As sensible as Houston fans are with choosing the comfort of A/C, there will be over 100,000 Aggies in the stands for the Fighting Irish come what may. “All those maroon clad people grasping each other by the waist and swaying to the A&M fight song will produce a mighty stank,” Heraldson predicted. “The ‘Fighting Irish’ will be struggling to find deodorant that works and any Aggies that actually use it.”

–       Georgia Tech vs. Georgia State Bobby Dodd Stadium Atlanta, Georgia. Temperature 92 degrees at game time. RealFeel® 102° RealFeel Shade™ 95°. Coming back from the U.K. after stunning Florida State might be a reason for a letdown against Georgia State, but not the only reason. “If the jet lag does not affect how Tech plays the opponent and weather probably will,” Heraldson said.

About SwampButt Underwear

SwampButt Underwear is a real company that makes and sells a product that helps solve a problem; the challenge of visible butt sweat. All our garments are made in the USA. SwampButt Underwear is trademarked in the USA and foreign countries. We paid a lot for it so please do not use it without permission. RealFeel® and RealFeel Shade™  are trademarks owned by Accuweather. To learn more visit: https://swampbutt.com.

CAPTION: Some fans are better suited to the heat, humidity, and stank than others at some of the most uncomfortable college football stadiums here in the USA.