Lake Jackson, TX (September 15, 2025) The SwampButt Underwear ‘Scale of Sultry’ gave the advantage to five college football teams based on their hot weather conditioning, playing against teams from milder or similar climates for week three of the college football season. Of the five, four teams from the hot and humid south of the U.S. won their games over those from more comfortable climates as predicted. One game was deemed a ‘push’ as both were from the boggy part of the country (Georgia at Tennessee).
SwampButt Underwear accurately predicted that Houston, Alabama, Texas Tech, and Texas A&M would win their games against Colorado, Wisconsin, Oregon State, and Notre Dame, respectively. Georgia vs. Tennessee was deemed a ‘push’ as both teams come from states of perpetual summer. Systems of measurement, assessment and predictions are only useful or interesting if they can accurately forecast something. It is true of stock pickers, horse racers, the weather man/woman and the SwampButt Underwear ‘Scale of Sultry’.
The ‘Scale’ is a system that takes temperature, humidity, wind, time of day, geography and other meteorological factors and assigns a single numeric value to those variables on a 1-10 scale. The higher the number, the hotter and steamier the game will be. “We originally put this together to benefit fans who would know what to expect and how to prepare for attending a game,” said SwampButt Underwear spokesman and serial prognosticator Nick Heraldson. “The idea that the teams practicing in the hotter conditions would have a conditioning advantage (over the ones that are from further north) was a wrinkle we added for Week 3. We did not anticipate a 100% accuracy level, but here we are.”
While five games in a single week is not statistically valid by a long way, it was at the very least an interesting new way to predict football game outcomes. “We will continue this style of prediction at least through September,” Heraldson said. “We will flip the script in October with southern schools playing on the road in the north at the disadvantage.” Heraldson was asked about how most schools will be in conference play and opportunities for remarkable predictions based on weather and conditioning would be fewer, he stated, “yeah, I knew that already.” Also when asked wasn’t this just a clever way to market men’s underwear designed for those who really sweat a lot from the waist down he replied, “what is your best guess?”
Full results of these games and others can be found here: NCAA College Football Scores for Week 3. Those who are interested can see the original ‘scale of sultry week 3’ post by clicking this link: https://swampbutt.com/swampbutt-underwear-presents-its-scale-of-sultry-for-college-football-week-three/sweat-news
About SwampButt Underwear
SwampButt Underwear is a real company that makes and sells underwear for men. And we really like college football. Founded in the sweltering heart of Texas, SwampButt Underwear designs performance undergarments for men who sweat — a lot. All SwampButt Underwear is made in Texas. With a brand voice as bold as its fabric technology, SwampButt Underwear helps its customers fight embarrassing perspiration with comfort, honesty, and a little humor. SwampButt Underwear™ is trademarked. United States and foreign countries. It was really expensive so please do not use it without permission.
CAPTION: SwampButt Underwear mascot Rufus believes it is possible to predict which college football teams have the advantage over their competition based on the ‘SwampButt Underwear Scale of Sultry.’