- On March 18, 2017
Fashion Maniac Covers SwampButt Underwear. Yes, you read that correctly. We at SwampButt Underwear find ourselves in very rare and special company as the editor of Fashion Maniac chose to cover our Spring Break announcement. Our high performance underwear was on the same page as Bravado, Marc Jacobs, Barbara Frank, Cheryl Gorski, Louis Vuitton and Prada. We are all as flattered as we are surprised, but this is a really good surprise. We don’t normally think of these quality constructed, high value underpants as ‘fashion’ but maybe we should start!
Selling Ourselves Short Fashion Maniac Covers SwampButt Underwear
We typically only focus on the utility and benefits wearers derive from SwampButt Performance Underwear. SwampButt Underwear™ performance shorts are made from lycra and polyester to wick away and evaporate moisture faster than otherwise possible. The benefit we extolled for spring break 2017 was that the tight-fitting underwear will
also help prevent sand migrating from the ocean into the crotches and butt cracks of America’s future leaders, aka college kids on spring break.
Make A Bold Fashion Statement Fashion Maniac
Rather than focus solely on the usefulness of our garments, we need to remind ourselves and our customers and potential customers that there is more to SwampButt Underwear than the prevention of a wet, smelly and unsightly backside. Our underwear allows the sweatiest among us to make a bold fashion statement. If anyones’s backside sags from too much un-evaporated sweat it will not matter how much was paid for an outfit or how famous and trendy the designer is. The only thing you will be remembered for is that you had swamp butt.
No Exotic Cures Needed Fashion Maniac Covers SwampButt Underwear
Botox has been FDA-approved since 2004 for excessive sweating, also called hyperhidrosis,” explains Dr. Dima Ali of WellMedica. “Botox is a protein complex and works by interfering with signals between nerves and sweat glands, essentially blocking the ability to sweat.” That’s the good part. Here comes the bad.
It takes from fifteen to twenty injections in the anal fold (I think that’s the sphincter and immediate real estate around it), about a fifty square centimeter area, to get the job done correctly. Average pricing, depending on where you live, which doctor you see, and just how active your lower back side sweat glands are, ranges from $750-$1500. In contrast a pair of SwampButt Performance Underwear costs $18.99 and there will not be any injections in the butt hole, or the butt hole area. Fashion Maniac Covers SwampButt Underwear